Dear Dog CEO,

I was hoping you could help me - I know that you are a very busy dog but I would really appreciate some help around solving the Birch and Swinnerton-Dyer conjecture.

There is a $1m prize which I am very happy to split 50:50.

Any tips or clues?


Dear reader,

You have mistaken me for a dog that rolls over (which I explicitly advise against - see my previous article on not rolling over in business).

You're correct in assuming that I have the maths ability of Fibonbarki. But you're woefully wrong if you think I'll consider such a deal in exchange for 50% of your pawltry $1 million when you're bringing no bones to the table.

So much as I might like to expend the CEO's most precious commodity (time) on your task, I'm going to pass on this opportunity unless your can provide a less insulting offer.

As General Kurt von Hammerstein-Equord once said, "beware of anyone who is stupid and diligent — he must not be entrusted with any responsibility because he will always cause only mischief."